Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
