The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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