So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
