winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
