You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
