He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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