dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
