The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
