Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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