Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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