If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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