I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
