she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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