is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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