between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It's shark week go big or go home
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
