True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
