I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Life without a bra equals bliss.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
