so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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