wakey wakey hands off snakey
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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