I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
