shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
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Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
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You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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