There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
