i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
