she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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