We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You are a genius and a whore.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize