Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize