I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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