is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
