So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
