didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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