is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
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Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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