forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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