also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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