Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
