he wants to bone in the snuggie
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
