was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I want a musical about memes.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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