how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
