i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
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These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize