is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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