My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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