Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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