Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
