You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
