yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize