Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
