I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
