I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
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Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
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I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize