been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
