Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
