im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
