I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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