yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
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