Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
