Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Swine flu is the new snow day.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
