what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
