i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
It was confusing and full of hummus
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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