If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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