You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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