He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
