Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
