i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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