Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
