You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
