Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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