so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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