Whatcha textin bout Willis?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
